Grief isn’t a Problem to Solve - It’s a Wound to Tend

Holding Space for the kind of pain that doesn’t need fixing, just witnessing.

Grief changes everything. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, a relationship, a version of life you hoped for, or even a version of yourself, grief can hit in ways that words don’t always cover.

As a therapist offering grief therapy in Texas, I’ve learned this: giref isn’t something to “get over.” It’s something we learn to live with, slowly, tenderly, and in our own time. And maybe even learn to live alongside. In her book, It’s Ok That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine writes:

“Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”

That line stops me in my tracks every time. Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? Some pain doesn’t have a solution, it just needs space. And yet so many of us feel pressure to be “strong” to “move on,” or act like we’re okay when clearly we’re not.

The Myth of “Moving On”

Grief isn’t linear. You don’t reach a magical finish line where everything goes back to normal.

When someone or something important to us is gone, the pain doesn’t eventually disappear, it just shifts. Sometimes it softens. Sometimes it surprises you years later. Sometimes it’s quiet, and other times, it knocks the wind out of you in the grocery store aisle.

That’s all still grief. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it honestly.

What Grief Really Looks Like

Grief shows up in so many ways, not just tears of sadness. It can look like:

• Numbness or feeling disconnected

• Irritability and anger

• Exhaustion

• Guilt

• Difficulty sleeping or concentrating

• Even moments of laughter that make you feel guilty afterward

Some people feel everything at once. Others feel nothing at all and wonder what’s wrong with them.

Here’s the truth, nothing is wrong you! You’re grieving. There is no right way, only your way.

What Helps and What Doesn’t

If you’ve heard things like:

• “At least they’re in a better place.”

• “Everything happens for a reason.”

• “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”

• “They wouldn’t want you to be sad.”

• “At least they lived a long life.”

You know how hollow those phrases can feel when you’re hurting. Most people mean well, but grief doesn’t need quick answers.

What grief actually needs is presence. Permission. And sometimes, a space where nothing has to be fixed or made sense of, where your grief is allowed to just be.

That’s what therapy can offer. A place to speak your pain out loud without apology. A place were you don’t have to be “better” by the end of the hour, just real.

Where Hope Fits In

Hope in grief doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine. It means trusting that:

• You’re not alone in this

• You can build a life around the pain, not in spite of it

• Your story still matters, and so does your heart

Books like, It’s Ok That You’re Not OK, can help people feel seen in world that often rushes pain away (available on Amazon).

It’s a beautiful companion, not a replacement for the kind of healing that happens in relationship, especially in therapy.

An Invitation to Healing

If you’re in the midst of grief, or carrying something heavy that no one else sees, you don’t have to carry it alone.

Therapy can be a space where your grief is welcome. Where you’re not judged, rushed, or “fixed,” just gently supported, at your pace.

If you’d like to talk more about how that might look, I offer grief therapy in Bastrop both in-person and via telehealth.

You’re not too much. You’re not broken. You’re grieving, and you’re allowed to.